blah

this is kind of a reply to myself?? to some of my posts in the past

remember this?

i don't really understand why i've slowed down watching game of thrones but the further i get into the series the worse my apprehension got. like, when  i first started i watched the first episode and half of the second on the same day. i'm now on the 6th (?) episode and i've only seen half of it. and that was a week ago.

yeah well, it got worse. i've actually straight up quit the show because i can't take it anymore. i was almost in tears over a scene between joffrey and sansa and that was the final straw. i convinced myself to do one more to end on a better note but i'm probably not going back into it unless i decide to read the books or have a change of hearts. after seven episodes too.

so, i figured this out. I have a tendency to avoid the things that really upset me. whether it's because they make me miserable or they remind me of a time in my life i'd rather forget. game of thrones falls into the former category, along with the last two thg books and the last two modern warfare games. game of thrones was an interesting one in that i started avoiding it before i even knew that it would upset me, and stopped before it could. in a turn of events, i bought the book and i have started reading it. hopefully that goes better.

in other news, i saw the dark knight rises last wednesday and i loved it. when i came out of the theatre i was positive that, and i quote, 'i'll watch this as much as i watch the dark knight when it comes out!'. looking back, that probably won't happen. i mean, i loved the movie a lot and i'm still thinking about it almost a week on but i'm positive that i won't watch it as much as the dark knight. by the same token, i'm not gonna not watch it except as background light when i sleep like i do with batman begins.

i bought the scripts for the dark knight trilogy back in october and i read them, as you do. after that i watched batman begins again. let me tell you, it was a completely different experience. i LOVED it. i couldn't even watch it in one sitting the first time and then the last time i was upset because i had to stop! it's crazy.

in other other news: i finally got around to watching the original modern warfare. it was good. i didn't like it as much as mw3 or black ops, which i've also watched again recently. i didn't cry during either, surprisingly

 eh i don't like as much as i used to. i didn't even finish it last time around. it just doesn't hold me the way it used to. i don't think it's bad but i don't know when i'll come back to it.

that's about it. goodnight uwu

mood: eh
watching: nostalgia chick, showgirls

i need to talk about something here because i've talked about it enough on my tumblr and i wanna give them a break.

to preface it, though, read this and this.

okay so!!

for one, bane never break into a woman's apartment and borderline sexually assault her. not in the comics and not in the nolan movie either. but that happens, as a plot device. and that's it. the rest of the time, he's written in character, and very well. and it doesn't romanticize him either, which is nice. the scenes between him and kim seems so out of place within the rest of the story. 

like, he says he wants to "own" her mind and body. he never gives a reason why. it's not like with batman, where he needed to make him disappear and never come back. we're given no reason as to why he insists on driving her crazy, instead of, you know, courting her? yes, i know, he's brutal, but it's out of character! there are other ways to go about it. and even worse, it's presented as something to be arousing. but i've already talked about this

now i'd except this if, a) it was au and b) if those scenes were meant to be true psychological torture, and not kink specific smut. but that's what it is.

it's interesting that the framing device ended up so much better than the sex scenes.

sorry about the rant but i needed to talk about that more.

you can find the story here: http://tomhardysswag.tumblr.com/tagged/the+chronicles

mood: hm

listening to: nostalgia chick- men in black

okay here's some updates of my life

• it been exactly a month since i had stopped watching mw 3 and i've only watched 3 more levels
• i never got back to game of thrones
• i still haven't read the last two books in the hunger games series
• i haven't finished the harry potter book i'm on
• i'm doing NaNoWriMo

so there's that. i'm not doing much right now but i am happy so it's alright

i know i haven't posted in a while so here's a link to watch azumanga daioh
http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/azumanga-daioh-english-dubbed-online-free
it's very good

dumb

do you know that i started modern warfare 3? like, for real this time. but i got to level 6? or so and i stopped because i didn't like the way it was making me feel. like, i love call of duty a lot, but it has a tendency to make me feel miserable. and not just during the game, after it ends too.

okay here's a comparison: deathly hallows part 2 makes me miserable. like i actually cry and all the works. BUT!! it has an ending that makes me really happy, so it's okay. of the four call of duty games i've seen, three of the leave me worse off then i started, and one didn't really make me feel anything (the first modern warfare). black ops is the worst offender, but that's because i'm so attached to the main character.

but yeah i still haven't finished it, and i thing i might abandon it for a game that makes me less sad, like silent hill

mood: okay
listening to: joseph birdsong

some updates

• i tried to start modern warfare 3 again and i just couldn't
• i want to see the dark knight rises again, because i want to watch the dark knight sometime soon and i'm afraid i won't want to see it again after that
• i finished the main story of endless ocean 2
• i also need to watch batman begins again. and in one sitting this time

that's about it. i haven't made a list like that in a while!

i start school next thursday so maybe i'll start making more posts here? let's hope so.

mood: hey
watching: conan

hm

remember this?

i don't really understand why i've slowed down watching game of thrones but the further i get into the series the worse my apprehension got. like, when  i first started i watched the first episode and half of the second on the same day. i'm now on the 6th (?) episode and i've only seen half of it. and that was a week ago.

yeah well, it got worse. i've actually straight up quit the show because i can't take it anymore. i was almost in tears over a scene between joffrey and sansa and that was the final straw. i convinced myself to do one more to end on a better note but i'm probably not going back into it unless i decide to read the books or have a change of hearts. after seven episodes too.

in other news, i saw the dark knight rises last wednesday and i loved it. when i came out of the theatre i was positive that, and i quote, 'i'll watch this as much as i watch the dark knight when it comes out!'. looking back, that probably won't happen. i mean, i loved the movie a lot and i'm still thinking about it almost a week on but i'm positive that i won't watch it as much as the dark knight. by the same token, i'm not gonna not watch it except as background light when i sleep like i do with batman begins.

in other other news: i finally got around to watching the original modern warfare. it was good. i didn't like it as much as mw3 or black ops, which i've also watched again recently. i didn't cry during either, surprisingly

mood: good
watching: mythbusters

note: i've started reading blogging the hunger games on zach little's blog so here's a link to that

(game of thrones spoilers)

over the summer i've been trying to do some things to make myself get off the computer for a few hours. initially i had started watching game of thrones, as well as starting tron uprising (though i'd been planning on doing this for a while). after a while i noticed that tron is the only thing i kept watching consistently. i don't really understand why i've slowed down watching game of thrones but the further i get into the series the worse my apprehension got. like, when  i first started i watched the first episode and half of the second on the same day. i'm now on the 6th (?) episode and i've only seen half of it. and that was a week ago. and i actually made it worse by spoiling things for myself by reading the tvtropes pages for the books. i know i'm afraid of getting attached to the characters but it's not like i'm gonna skip out on seeing the dark knight rises because i don't want to see the characters get hurt. 


i noticed that i did a similar after i read the hunger games. the book ends on a slightly bittersweet, but altogether happy note. i knew that things would get shitty in catching fire and at the time i refused to start it because i didn't want to ruin the moment. i figure it's the same thing except instead of getting to the end of the first season and not wanting to ruin the end, i'm trying to savor the calm before the storm (storm= ned stark's death). sometimes i wish got had come out before i became more emotionally available, because i'd be waiting for season three like everyone else, or at least on the second season.


sorry about the long ranty post and the long absence. this has been bothering me for a while and i wanted to say something about it. i probably won;t be posting much more because i'm on vacation right now


mood: generally happy but also a bit nauseous idk
listening to: Let's Play- Cry of Fear

here with more lp recs!

amnesia the dark descent (mangaminx)
assassin's creed revelations (hankgames)
links to the uncharted walkthrough in my other posts. i encourage you to check out other stuff on those two channels as well (you might remember minx from the silent hill lp)

mood: good
listening to: Jaaam- pogo

i have nothing to say really except that i'm watching arkham asylum now. link to the playlist here (it's in HD!)

and no, i haven't finished uncharted yet

mood: in-diff-er-ent
listening to: dailygrace

i finished mw3 last night, and i have to say that it has a pretty satisfying ending. i know a lot of people complained apparently? but i liked it enough. maybe more of the main cast could have lived though the story, but that's just war i guess.

but yeah, on the other side of things, that game is really good looking. the graphics are a+. and almost half of the game took place in or around water, which really boosts the aesthetic level for me. i was worried about them toning down the colors from the last game but it worked completely. just great

but now that that has ended, i'm back to watching uncharted again. i also finished the sh 4 lp and started the sh origins by the same girl.

i don't know if i'll be able to post this weekend, because i'll be at my dad's. if not, have a nice weekend guys.

mood: good

listening to: Dance Until Tomorrow- Jonas Brothers (it's new!)

watching: Uncharted 3 (IGN)

Let's Play Silent Hill: Origins (mangaminx)

i've taken a break from uncharted for modern warfare 3. it's absolutely beautiful so far. after this i'm gonna keep going with uncharted and then find time for the original modern warfare. the mx3 links below are for the IGN walkthrough, without commentary; and the lp i'm watching, which has commentary but also has better HD

mood: good
watching: Let's Play Silent Hill 4 (mangaminx)
Modern Warfare 3 (let's play)(walkthrough)

wow i'm really boring this april. probably because i'm not bitching about disney channel and abc family.
but anyway, i've paused my uncharted marathon to watch some silent hill 4. this is probably how i'm gonna be for most of the month, so i'll link you to whatever i'm watching at the moment.

mood: good
watching: Let's Play Silent Hill 4 (mangaminx)
Uncharted 3 (ign)

i missed the first day of BEDA, but i also have nothing to write about
so... watch uncharted with me? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bolIgyHht3k

mood: nothing special
listening to: uncharted 3

okay internet, we need to have a talk about barbie

but first an announcment:

• i'm doing BEDA on my pokemon blog next month. i think i will most likely end up doing BLODA on this blog, since i don't know if i'll be able to handle blogging twice everyday 

okay lets get on with this.

• i highly doubt that barbie i the reason that so many girls have low self esteem and want to attain impossible figures. it makes sense on paper, but think about it. barbie is, first and foremost, a toy. she's made of plastic. also, there's the fact that there are pressures from the media to look like what's desirable, like the ladies in the magazines. and guess who's not in the magazines. of course there's probably people out there who do want the look like barbie, but don't blame everyone's low self-esteem on a doll. or at least think about it. 
• barbie doesn't come in pink packaging and lots of pink (not only pink, but lots of pink) clothes because she's meant for girls. this is something called characterization. over the years mattel has turned barbie from just a fashion doll into full fledged character. she has a whole family, likes and dislikes, she even has an entire name. so it makes sense that barbie would have a favorite color right? and guess what that color is? pink. 
• and probably the most important thing, barbie is not a slut, nor is she dumb. the movies have established that. for one, being a slut isn't even such a bad thing, let alone something that you call a cartoon character. also 'slutty' isn't a style of dress, it's a lifestyle choice (for lack of better word). and to top that off, barbie doesn't dress in what is traditionally thought of as 'slutty'. a regular barbie's style is probably best described as feminine, and the clothes are not overtly revealing. and there isn't really any evidence to prove that barbie is 'dumb'. there's the whole 'math is hard' thing, but not everyone is good at math, you know? it's not a sign of stupidity. besides, barbie has had what seems like a hundred jobs, which means she's qualified for every one. 

sorry for the rant, but i had to get that off my chest. it bothers me when people blame barbie for everything. also, the last one goes ofo the bratz as well.

mood: happy, actually
listening to: Charlie Brown, Coldplay

another hp post

so my friend beth's harry potter blog got me thinking about something.

you know how snape and lily have the same patronus? well, i was thinking that the whole patronus thing had something to do with how with how he and james both loved her in different ways (because james has a simliar patronus to lily as well).

like, snape was more infatuated with her than anything, so he had the same exact patronus as her. james had time to be with her and let his love, and himself, mature into something more, so he has a stag, which symbolises that he was her partner rather than just some one fawning over her. that's just speculation, of course.

but yeah, that's all for today. i had to get that out of my head.

mood: i don't really know?
listening to: Starry Eyed (Monsieur Adi remix)- Ellie Goulding

just a reminder that the pokemon blog is here.

big accomplishment for me: since the last time i wrote here i've watched two movies the same night i started them! yay

but yeah. it slowly dawned on me that i had never seen Prisoner of Azkaban, as well as Order of the Pheonix (though i knew i hadn't seen that one). i actually got around to watching them  a week or two ago. no tears, surprisingly.
in other news: i still haven't finished OoTP, despite seeing the movie and knowing that i most likely won't cry at the end. i still don't feel ready to take that leap right now.

sorry for the short update post. i was preparing to write a long post about barbies and what not but i'm not ready to put myself in that mood either.

mood: in-diff-er-ent
listening to: clifford

another important announcement!

i've created a separate blog for my pokemon blog, so that if i decide to keep it going after school i'll still have my personal.
the blog will still be called pikablocks and you can go follow it here. this url is changing back to scatterblox. sorry about all the moving!

sometimes i hate not being eloquent, because there are so many things i could talk about, but no. it makes me upset.
so today, i'm gonna talk about Harry Potter, because i can't give coherent thoughts on any of the important issues at hand that don't involve wizards.

specifically, i want to talk about Cho and some thing that's bothering me. i've recently wondered why the book treats all girls as something to be decoded, instead of treating all people as immensely complicated human beings. i've already taken a step back and realised that, of course, the book is told from Harry's point of view. and that's probably how he feels about the situation. even so, it still irks me. it gnaws at me the same way Harry's attitude does, despite it being pointed out to me that he was probably suffering PTSD. i can't let it go. but at the same time, i can't expect a 15 year old boy to see women (and really, everybody) as the complex creatures that they are when he's got the mentality of, well... a 15 year old. which is another thing that bothers me. i knew what i was getting into when i sat down to read a tome about Harry Potter in a constant bad mood. i knew. and yet i can't help but be annoyed. and then i feel bad because i expect too much.

if you've stayed this long, thanks for reading yet another HP rant. i'll try to find something else to talk about next time.

listening to: television
mood: my wrists hurt (i know.)

welp

i apologize in advanced if this post is badly written, because i am not eloquent which you probably know by now).

i finished watching Deathly Hallows part 2 about an hour ago, and i've started thinking about a few things. namely 1) how much my life has changed since i really got back into HP and 2) how becoming reattached to these characters in such a short amount of time may have torn my heart into pieces.

i've been an HP fan since i was 13 or so, and i've gone in and out of the fandom a few times since then. i wasn't much of a potterhead back then, and i didn't really get a lot of things*. i didn't really get into it hardcore until last year when i got into tumblr. and then i dove in head first. honestly, i'm really glad that it's been that way because i have so many people to talk to now, on top of gaining a connection to the characters.** and it's changed me in a good way, i think. ever since i saw DH part 2, i've been a lot more open about my emotions, mostly when it comes to crying. it feels good to be in fandom.

but then there's the downside (sort of). if my archive is anything to go by, i dived into the fandom around june, which is a month before DH part 2 came out. in the course of a month or maybe a  month and a half, i get totally invested in a cast of characters who were either going to die or get extremely close. that's going pretty hard on yourself imo. even without having grown up with HP like other have***, i still felt like i lost a big part of my family. i suffered from post-potter depression and i wasn't even aware of it. to gain all of those things in the course of a month, just to see most of it get taken a way in 2.5 hours. it hurt really bad. so while i'm really grateful for getting into HP again, maybe i should have done it so fast.

but then again, maybe it was best this way...

mood: good, surprisingly
listening to: nick jr (it's on commercial)

* i didn't get dressing up for premieres or midnight showings. oddly enough, i totally got fanfic...
** i'm sure most potterheads know that feeling, when the trio or whoever you love become your friends in the absence of tangible people.
*** i was 13 in 2004/5 and read them in the course of my 8th grade year. i didn't see any of the films in theaters until HBP.